Feeling demoralized

Dont take it wrong, I'm happy with my current new life. Cuma rite now I'm kinda feeling demoralized on breastfeeding Honey.

If before delivering, I was too ambitious to dream on having a natural childbirth, not for breastfeeding though since I believe it's strongly depends on rezeki masing2. However, I hv to say the strict rule at HPJ which bans formula milk really boost my confidence to BF Honey. Somehow, whenever I BF Honey, I feel our bond is tighten & I guess the feeling is exclusive between the mother & the baby.

Ok la direct to my problems on BF...

After a week, the milk supply wasnt enough. So terpaksa campur. Cuma bagi formula milk pagi & tgh malam. At the same time, pergelangan tangan kiri aku sakit start hari Sabtu minggu pertama Honey dilahirkan which made it difficult for me to carry Honey & latch-on. So I went to see a doc & been given medicines. Since I was on medication I couldnt BF Honey for 3 days. Masa ni mmg stress gila. Dalam hati frust hanya Tuhan yg tau. Lagi2 masa awal2 dia meragam macam nak 'bergantung'. I kept pumping regularly though. But I hv to throw away the milk. On the 1st & 2nd day, there was improvement. However, on the last day, suddenly the milk production dropped. Stress lagi.

Tiba masanya to BF Honey back. It becomes harder to latch-on. Seems like Honey has nipple-confused problem. Couldnt blame her. 3 days is quite a long time. Bila nak BF je, kene bg skit susu botol dulu. Then, baru BF. Sigh. On the milk production, dah minum byk air, oat, susu, makan lobak putih etc, rasanya tang tu gak. But it's not the main problem since I think still quite enough for Honey. Cuma kene improve dr segi kepekatan.

I think the main problem that demoralized me is my left hand which still hurts until today. It has been almost 2 weeks now & am thiking of going to a clinic again which means I might be on medication again, sooner or later.

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