The Reality Hurts More

I'm in Holland, alone, for business purpose, no family or friend.

I felt the pain, but stayed in the meeting patiently. When I saw the heavy flow of bleeding I knew that it was coming. Then I decided to join the visit to the reactor facility. I thought I was ready.

Right after we finished visiting the reactor, I felt something came out. I felt warm & the pain subsided somehow.

I went to the toilet to check. As I had expected, a clot as big as my thumb was there. I thought it was a blood clot, but it wasn't. It was harder. It was more like meat.

In the meeting I tried hard to compose myself. It was a very challenging moment for me.

In my room, I couldn't help myself but cried my heart out. I just had miscarriage.

Here, alone in Holland, I'm feeling devastated. I'm mentally ready indeed for the misfortune. But now I learn, the reality actually hurts more.

Allah knows best. Everything happens for a reason. I relent.